This Life in Which We Are
by Of Broken Love
Summary: She can't make him love her, so she's stopped trying. The moment Haruno Sakura abandons her love for Sasuke in an attempt to make her life better, the stoic Uchiha realizes that he may have made the worst mistake he could have ever made - not showing how much he truly cares about her. Add one murderous Itachi and a terrifying psychopathic gang and you've got one hell of a mix...
1. This Black Starry Sky

**Author's Note:**

**Hello! This is my first Naruto fanfiction, although not my first fanfiction ever. It's a little different than what I normally write. When I first started writing this, I intended it to be a one-shot, but now I've got the ideas flowing and I'm thinking of making it longer.**

**Things to be Aware of:**

**In my opinion, Sasuke's rather OOC in this fic, but for the plot to work, that's going to be the way it is. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but remember, this is AU. I'm trying to keep it as close to his actual personality as possible, however, if I want this story to be anything fun, he's going to have to change a bit...so again, sorry.**

**I'm not absolutely sure if I want to continue it, although I do have ideas in mind. Please let me know in a PM or review if you enjoyed it enough to want me to continue it, or if it was interesting; if not, you don't have to say anything. No worries either way! =)**

**Anyways, on with the story! It may be a little **

**depressing, but that's what I always find is **

**the case with Sakura and Sasuke.**

**Also, DISCLAIMER! I DON'T OWN NARUTO NOR DO I MAKE ANY MONEY FROM IT! ...would I really be writing fanfiction if I did? I always feel this is redundant, but unfortunately necessary in our day and age of sue-left-and-right.  
**

**Anyways...Here Goes…**

**This Life in Which We Are**

**By: Of Broken Love**

"You really don't get it, do you?" Tears filled emerald eyes as she glared at the black-haired boy in front of her. "You just think this is about me being jealous and nothing else. Well, I'll tell you right now; that's _nothing _to do with it."

He looked back at her impassively, never showing an inkling of emotion. She couldn't bear to see him so stoic, even though it had been that way all their lives. It wasn't as though she was being unreasonable; she had always shown her affection for Sasuke and realizing that it was completely ignored and for nothing hurt. Things had just changed in a way that she hoped wasn't permanent.

It would be, she was about to find out.

Finally, he spoke. "Stop crying. It makes you look weak."

Sakura's eyes widened at his harshness, even though she supposed she should have expected it from him. Gritting her teeth angrily, she turned away, but did not stop crying. The only action she had taken to listen to him was to move her face away from the moonlight, hiding her tears from the beams of light that would reveal them.

They stood there for what seemed like an eternity before Sasuke found himself tiring. He was bored by their interaction, of course, but something about seeing her cry was disturbing. He didn't dare give that further thought and instead glancing at his watch.

"I'm going to bed," he said, his lips moving into what would have been a frown if he hadn't had a face of stone. Sakura grimaced and glared at the ground, not daring to look at his stoic expression. It hurt too much, and the pain was so deep it was unbearable. It was agony to be close to him, and suddenly Sakura realized she didn't _want_ to be close to him.

She would hurt no more.

"Alright," she said slowly. "You go to bed."

He nodded and she nodded back, still not looking at him. She couldn't hear his footsteps on the sidewalk as he walked away, but she knew he had left. It was only after he had left did she break down into the last tears she would shed for him.

The _very_ last.

* * *

As she walked home from her final confrontation with Uchiha Sasuke, Sakura felt a lightness she hadn't felt in a long time—not since elementary school, when she had first met him. She had thought it was love at first sight, or at least what love a six-year-old girl could harbor for a six-year-old boy. As the years had passed, she had found herself growing to love him more and more, understanding him more and more despite his lack of emotion. She found out in not-so-many words that he had been orphaned as a child by his older brother, who was now in jail. She had never found out anything else about his past, but that was enough to allow Sakura to understand him even more deeply.

As the years passed, Sakura's love had only intensified, while he remained ever-unfeeling. They had attended school together from elementary to high school, and he hadn't really change from day one—not from being the smartest in the class to the most quiet and stoic. Not to mention he was always the school heartthrob, his only competition Uzumaki Naruto, the only male he ever spoke to. Sakura had once had her presence graced by Naruto's interest, but she had felt nothing for him. However, his infatuation with her had soon transformed into a good friendship. She had only had eyes for Sasuke, similarly to many of the other girls in the class; there was much to look at in the smart, handsome boy.

He was always the top of the class, usually second to Hyuuga Neji or Sakura, depending on which class. English had never been a forte of hers, so Neji often surpassed her there. However, in science and math, especially science, Sakura won out. Of course, Sasuke ultimately won at everything, and he was going to be the valedictorian of his class.

He was also very handsome with pale skin and dark black eyes, not to mention his short black hair that somehow slanted up at the back, giving him a look not easily found by boys who didn't style their hair. However, Sakura knew it _wasn't_ styled because he had had it all his life, and there was much doubt in her mind as to whether a kindergartner would spend his allowance on something as trivial as hair products. He was tall and muscular, standing at nearly 6'1 at his age of eighteen.

However, even with all his beauty and intelligence, Sasuke had a wall around his heart, and it was unknown to really anybody whether or not that wall guarded anything or not. Was Uchiha Sasuke an empty shell, or was there still a shred of humanity left in him? Sakura had always felt there was something more—until that night.

It had started out easily enough, with her offering to walk him home. He had noncommittally shrugged, as was his standard response. She had walked quietly beside him, understanding after all the years she had spent with him that he didn't like too much talking. She was talkative naturally, but she didn't want to be annoying.

They had been halfway to his adopted parents' home when a girl had approached them. She'd had medium-length red hair that was unevenly and choppily cut, thin, black-rimmed glasses and was voluptuous enough to be a threat to Sakura's slim and not-particularly-curvy form. Where Sakura had a B-cup, this girl had a D, and where Sakura had a small, petite figure and thin waist, this girl was an hourglass. It was threatening enough that the girl was more attractive than her, but then for Sasuke to actually _speak_ to her? He hadn't given Sakura the time of day for 12 _long_ years.

Granted, he hadn't necessarily been kind to her, but it was more than he had ever given Sakura.

'_What do you want, Karin?'_ Sasuke had asked, cutting to the chase without so much as a 'hello' or 'what's up.' However, that was Sasuke's way and Sakura knew it wasn't personal…at least as far as she could deduce.

Karin had ignored the question, answering with a question of her own. _'What are you doing with that fangirl? I thought you didn't like them?'_

Sakura had felt deep fury at being referred to as a fangirl, although it might have been an accurate depiction of how she'd acted in the past. However, she had matured much since then and her love was genuine, whereas she could tell that many of the fangirls who trailed Sasuke weren't actually interested in _him_. Some were, but not many.

'_I'm not-'_

Sasuke had interrupted her.

'_What do you want?'_

'_I was wondering if you were still coming to dinner with me and Suigetsu tomorrow.' _Karin had looked smug at the way Sakura knew her expression looked, even with how hard she was trying to mimic Sasuke and stay stoic.

'_Hn. Maybe.'_ That was Sasuke's way of saying yes.

Sakura had stared open-mouthed at this Karin's sudden success at getting Sasuke's attention, unable to muster any kind of emotion to fight back with. The pain, the anger, and the sadness all mixed up into one enormous ball of emotion that she had been speechless.

'_Okay! Well, I'll see you then,' _she said, in what seemed to be a nasty tone of voice towards Sakura. Sakura had allowed Karin to leave without giving the girl a piece of her mind. It was uncharacteristic of her, and should have been a warning to Sasuke that something was wrong…

If he had even cared.

She had gone on to quietly confront Sasuke after Karin had been gone from sight for a good few ten minutes. They had almost reached his house and it was a good thing, because it was getting dark. Sakura didn't live too far off and it was a safe neighborhood, but she still didn't like the dark much. She felt safe with Sasuke, but alone she was prone to having a wild imagination.

When they began speaking, the blow-up began.

Sasuke had been normal Sasuke, not replying to her questions and not taking any interest in what she was saying. It had only been when she had started crying, something she hadn't done in regards to Sasuke for almost a year—she had thought that senior year was going to be _the_ year, but it obviously wasn't—that he had finally said those words that had stung her so deeply.

'_Stop crying. It makes you look weak.'_

So, as Sakura approached the door to her home after mulling over her thoughts for the longest time, she found herself realizing that she didn't have to be locked down by Sasuke any longer. Memories, like a slideshow, passed through her mind as she climbed the steps quietly to her bedroom.

_The first day she had met Sasuke, running into him on the playground…_

_Sitting next to him in class, introducing herself and being ignored…_

_Telling him she liked him only to be rejected by silence…_

_Asking him to go to the sixth grade dance, and again, being rejected…_

_Sharing her lunch with him on a day when he had none, only to have the food go to waste…_

_Spending prom night at home alone because she didn't want to go with anybody else…_

And now this with Karin. It was too much.

Sakura had had enough. She lay down on her bed, not bothering to change into pajamas. She would take a shower in the morning, and she wouldn't think about Sasuke. She would fall asleep to dream deeply…and not of Sasuke.

She did all of those things successfully and without a qualm.

* * *

Sasuke didn't have to make an effort to hide his surprise when Haruno Sakura didn't greet him in the cafeteria when he arrived at school that morning, simply because he was accustomed to hiding it no matter what. However, despite what others said about him being emotionless, he was not and it vaguely bothered him that she wasn't present. She was _always_ present; he hadn't spent much time away from her this last year and he honestly hadn't minded. She knew what he liked and she respected him. She no longer attempted to prod about in his business, instead satisfying herself with his presence. He had wondered how long it would take her to get sick of being ignored, and while he found it to be no game, he knew he had nothing more to offer her. He knew he was ignoring her, but he didn't want to get close to her. In no way did Sasuke idolize the girl who had gone from fangirl to something…different, but he had a slight respect for the fact that she went after what she wanted so steadfastly. He also respected that she was a kind and smart girl—not once had she taken part in the other fangirls' antics. At least, not since about fifth grade. She was pretty, he had to admit, because he _was_ a man. Much to his chagrin he had partaken in the act of intercourse, but only with girls he knew he would not see _ever_ again. He wasn't inexperienced in that regard, although Sakura probably still thought he was a virgin. She had never seen him with another girl and she never would. He would have kept it that way, if it hadn't been for Karin.

He'd made the horrible mistake of leading her on one night at a club, and soon enough she'd been giving him a blowjob in the bathroom. He would have never even talked to her if his friend from out-of-town, Suigetsu, hadn't introduced them, but she had been very good with her mouth and Sasuke wasn't going to deny her what she obviously wanted to do. He also had had a few drinks, so it was understandable that he'd given in. Perhaps if she had wanted more he would have denied her, but what _male_ would refuse a win-win situation like that?

Unfortunately, however, Karin had continued to pursue him, thinking that since she had shown him what she was good at he would continue the chase. She had been sorely mistaken, but then Suigetsu had invited the both of them to dinner and hence the situation that had so upset Sakura the night before.

He hadn't wanted to see her crying, so he'd said the only thing he could to get her to stop. It made him uncomfortable in a way he didn't want to feel and he wasn't accustomed to feeling something so similar to pain.

Sasuke had blocked out all the pain a long, long time ago.

The first bell rang and Sasuke resigned himself to ignoring the fact that Sakura wasn't showing that day. It wasn't surprising, really, that maybe she had taken the morning off. He knew he had hurt her pretty badly, but Karin's appearance really hadn't been intentional.

There it was again: that feeling that he _really _didn't want to feel.

He was walking up to his first period class, Advanced Biology, which he normally shared with Sakura. He supposed he would be forced to sit by someone like Sai, even though he didn't like his fellow senior, if only to keep the many girls who liked him away from his person. Sometimes the swarm of attention was bearable, but that morning he didn't feel up to dealing with other girls. Normally Sakura's presence deterred them, simply because she took the only other seat at the lab table he sat at.

Sasuke didn't like his routine being ruined. It was making him rather irritable and he really hoped that Sakura would miraculously appear, late to class or whatever reason she could come up with. As long as things stayed normal and he had her presence, he was content to leave it at that.

That was why he was relieved to see the familiar pink head of hair enter the classroom amidst the throng of students rushing to be on time. It somewhat annoyed him that she hadn't met him in the cafeteria that morning, but he supposed she could have been late to class and not had the time.

Then he realized that she wasn't sitting at his table with him. She was sitting with Yamanaka Ino, her once-enemy, at another lab table on the other side of the room. They were talking quietly and seriously, Sakura with an apologetic look in her eyes while Ino nodded, lips pursed but eyes forgiving and understanding.

Sakura had once told him that hell would freeze over before she talked to Ino again. Then why in hell was she talking to her? He watched with utmost irritation and to his slight surprise, shock as the two girls suddenly embraced. Sakura was smiling in a way that he hadn't seen her smile at anyone other than him in a long time. Again, there was a feeling that he was unable to comprehend why he was feeling it.

_Jealousy._

Was he seriously jealous of _Sakura and Ino?_ If he was any other, more expressive person, he would have shaken his head as he took as seat next to Sai, but he did not. The similar-looking boy glanced at Sasuke before giving a fake smile that didn't even come close to reaching his eyes.

"Hi, Uchiha-san," Sai said. "Why are you not sitting with Ugly today?"

Sasuke said nothing, waiting for the bell to ring and the lecture to start. He didn't have much patience for this.

"Did she find someone else? Or is she a lesbian?"

Sasuke's lip twitched in annoyance but he didn't reply. Much to his thanks, the lecture began.

Sai didn't speak to him the rest of the period, for which he was grateful. However, what Sai had said to him got him thinking.

He knew she hadn't found anybody else—she'd spent all her time up until then with him—but what if she _did_ find someone else? Someone who would pay attention to her and make her feel special…

Someone who would take her away from him.


	2. Numb Like Me

Author's Note:

First of all, thank you all for the reviews! I really appreciate them! Special thanks to missjewels, who gave me some really great advice.

A few warnings for this chapter. There will be Karin-bashing, so if you like her, you probably won't want to read that. It's not extensive, but it's there, so I thought there should be a warning about that.

Secondly, Sasuke is going to be OOC—except SERIOUSLY this time. I did it on purpose, so before you bite my head off, please know that. It's for a reason.

Thirdly, expect this to get dark pretty soon. Right now I feel like it's been angsty, but not particularly dark. It's going to get dark. Like, really dark. You'll see the warnings as they come.

Anyways, that's all! Onto the story!

**This Life in Which We Are**

**By: Of Broken Love**

Sakura felt so very light and happy when she reconciled with Ino that she had to stop herself from inviting her old best friend to splurge all their money shopping that night at the mall. It'd been forever since she had gone shopping for fun. Her parents were well off, but she'd spent so much of senior year chasing Sasuke that things like feminine fun had gone out the window. Ino had been her closest friend until junior year, when their competition for Sasuke grew out of control and they had become enemies. Now they were friends again, and Sakura felt happier that she had in a while with Sasuke. It felt so good to be appreciated—to be loved.

She had seen Sasuke in Advanced Biology and, to her great surprise and thankfulness, hadn't felt one twinge of hurt or regret when he made no comment on her lacking presence. He had simply sat next to Sai and Sakura's world had kept on spinning.

She knew she wasn't completely over him, as one couldn't simply erase almost a lifetime of loving someone, but she was on that path. Determined not to feel pain over him anymore, Sakura was moving on with her life. She wanted someone who would love her like she loved him and nothing less.

The rest of the day passed by without a hitch. Ino introduced Sakura to her friends Tenten and Hinata, both of whom were immune to Sasuke's looks. Tenten, Sakura found out, was Neji's girlfriend. Hinata was unfortunately infatuated with Naruto, who was currently dating an unnamed girl from another school. At least, that was the rumor, and the shy girl was heartbroken over it.

"You never know," Sakura told her new friend cheerfully as they walked to English together. She hadn't known they were in the same class, but apparently they both had Hatake Kakashi as their teacher. "Maybe it's _just_ rumor."

"I-I d-don't know," Hinata said quietly. "I h-hope so."

Sakura gave her a warm smile as they approached the door and entered. Mr. Hatake was sitting at his desk, reading a book that suspiciously wore a blank paper jacket. There were many rumors as to what he read during class; some speculated it was some kind of embarrassing romance novel, others thought it was straight-out porn. Sakura had seen a glimpse of the wording once when receiving tutoring and she was almost positive it was literary porn—with or without romance.

They took their seats quietly as the rest of the class filed in. Chatter scattered about here and there until Mr. Hatake cleared his throat.

"Now, class, for this year's final we will be doing a project." He looked at them, expecting them to groan. Nothing came, so he elaborated. "It will be a research paper. It needs to be at least 20 double-spaced pages long, and it needs to be on a play written in the European Middle Ages, particularly in England/Scotland area." He paused again, and this time there was sufficient complaining for his sadistic ears. He chuckled lightly. "You are to give accurate dates, descriptions, and citations as you describe the time period in which the play was written, its background history, the political influences of the time…"

Sakura had broken out into a cold sweat. Seriously? Twenty pages?

"…and before you all have a heart attack," Sakura was pretty sure she was on that list, "we will be doing this in conjunction with Ms. Mitarashi's class. You will be assigned partners. I think it will be good to diversify, seeing as you've all worked on group projects together at one point or another this last year."

Sakura felt as though she _was_ having a heart attack. She had seen Sasuke's schedule and she was pretty sure he was in that class. However, she calmed when she realized they would be receiving partners. What were the chances that out of forty to fifty students, she and Sasuke would be paired up together? Their last names weren't even near each other on the alphabet, so probability was low.

She was honest with herself in that she wasn't over him and she knew that if she was forced to be in his presence, she might not be able to keep up her new attitude. It hadn't even been 24 hours, and even though she was determined like a woman scorned, she still didn't want another obstacle in the path of getting past her childhood crush.

"Alright. We're going to meet with them in the library. From there we'll call out names and you can begin your research."

The class nodded and they stood up and left the classroom, Mr. Hatake shutting off the lights and locking the door behind them.

* * *

Sasuke was irked when he found out about the group partnerships that were to take part in tandem with Ms. Mitarashi's class and Mr. Hatake's. Most of the time he found he could convince Ms. Mitarashi to allow him to work alone, which was all fine and well. They seemed to have an understanding of one another, and she was the only female other than Sakura who seemed to even vaguely understand him, even though she didn't particularly like him. He appreciated that, but when he'd approached Ms. Mitarashi on the trek to the library, she'd shaken her head apologetically and said she couldn't do anything. He had asked who he was paired with and she looked at the paper.

She told him it was someone he'd like.

He didn't believe it for a second.

When they arrived in the large library, Sasuke took a second to observe it. He'd never actually been inside the library, as his rich adoptive parents were in no way lacking money and literally owned a library within the walls of their own home. He would bluntly have put it that theirs was much nicer than this industrialized version of a library, but there wasn't much he could do otherwise.

The walls were painted a harsh white and the bookcases were made of pale material whose validity as real wood was questionable. There were a few potted plants here and there, mostly fake, often put at the end of one of the few brown couches. Mainly there were tables for four, but there were several tables for two, all of that same doubtful 'wood.'

No, it really couldn't compare with the Moto library.

They took seats in the chairs across from Mr. Hatake's class, and almost immediately Sasuke noticed Sakura's pink head of hair. She hadn't noticed him, it seemed, as she was talking animatedly—nervously—to a raven-haired girl he had only seen in passing. Hyuuga Hinata, he vaguely recalled. The Hyuuga's had been friends of the Uchiha family until the incident, and friendliness hadn't been instilled in the younger generations. Nonetheless, he was surprised that Sakura was suddenly making all these new friends; only just yesterday she hadn't been spending time with anybody else but him.

"Attention! Brats! Now!" Ms. Mitarashi said loudly. It took just a little too long to gain the attention of all students present, but the glare from the librarian came immediately although she didn't dare to say anything to the aggressive teacher. "Listen up! Your teacher's talking!" Sasuke wondered if she was being so loud simply because she was excited or if it had to do with the fact that she had more 'brats' to boss around.

Mr. Hatake looked decidedly nonplussed by Ms. Mitarashi's less-than-impressive example-setting for the children, but put down his unknown book and looked the group.

"I'm going to read out the pairs. You're to find your partner and then get straight to work. You can choose any literary work of the time, but it has to be something you can fill up twenty pages with. Here's who you're with…"

Sasuke waited patiently, vaguely hoping he didn't get someone too annoying. If he was very lucky, perhaps he'd get Sakura. He was somewhat curious as to why she hadn't at least _waved_ to him or gotten his attention when he entered the room. Instead, she hadn't paid him the time of day—like he didn't even exist. He was starting to get irked with this behavior, but he didn't really have the right or the will to say anything about it.

"Uchiha Sasuke and…"

Sasuke frowned when he realized he was semi-holding his breath and took a deep breath simply to spite himself.

"Haruno Sakura."

He couldn't control the smirk on his face when he looked at Sakura. However, that minute display of affection, if it could be called such a thing, immediately vanished when he saw her deer-in-the-headlights expression. But it wasn't just frightened; it was horrified, upset, disgusted.

_She didn't want to be anywhere near him._

And that was clear.

Sakura glanced at Hinata, who was looking at her facial expression with concern.

"I-is something wr-wrong?" she stammered, blushing deeply and looking very confused. "I th-thought you l-liked him?"

"Not anymore," Sakura said quietly as Sasuke looked on at them. He was too far away to hear anything—not that he would care if he heard. "He doesn't care about me, and I think he's seeing someone else…maybe. Either way, I don't want to be his partner."

Hinata looked from Sakura to Sasuke to Sakura again and nodded. "He d-doesn't s-seem fr-friendly."

Sakura smiled sadly as she gathered up her things. "He's not. I don't know why, but he's not. I obviously couldn't change him."

The raven-haired girl looked up as Sakura stood, backpack hung over her left shoulder. "Wh-where are you g-going?"

"I'm going to see if I can get a partner exchange." Sakura gave Hinata a thumbs-up as she stood to go speak with Mr. Hatake.

Sasuke watched with hidden curiosity as Sakura spoke with Hinata, and as much as he hated to admit it, he didn't like the way she smiled so sadly. He also had a loathsome idea in his head that maybe _he_ had caused her to act this way…but he doubted it. Sakura was strong; she could put up with his shit.

Then again, she'd never seen him interact with another girl before like he had with Karin.

Not for the first time, Sasuke cursed Karin. That _bitch_ had ruined his routine and upheaved his normalcy. He didn't want to admit it because he knew he played a part in it, but he also found her distasteful simply because she had hurt Sakura. However, he couldn't say much on that topic, because he had hurt her, too.

Then he saw Sakura go up to Mr. Hatake and wait patiently to speak to him.

Was she…requesting another partner?

Sasuke had never been much for acting before thinking. He was always cool, calm, and calculated, and there wasn't much that could disturb him. Luckily, he didn't have to do much thinking to know that Sakura having a different partner meant _he_ had to have another partner, and he didn't want a partner other than Sakura.

He wasn't sure why, but he justified it that it was routine, so he simply didn't want someone else.

Once Mr. Hatake had finished reading out the names, Sakura moved to speak to him. Sasuke could see her lips moving and her eyes pleading with her sensei to try and get some sympathy. Mr. Hatake said something, and Sakura looked at him with…tears in her eyes? Mr. Hatake's shoulder slumped and he stared down at the list. Sasuke realized that Sakura was winning out—she was going to get another partner.

Resolutely, he stood up and walked over. He was going to have to do some major theatrics to get her to stay with him.

"Sakura-chan," he said as he approached. Sakura's eyes widened as she turned to him. He almost never called her by her given name, and _never_ had he called her '-chan.' He could almost see the gears spinning and going into overdrive above her head and he knew that he'd gotten her good. "Are we going to start working on the project or what?" It wasn't often he spoke so much, especially in a school setting.

It was his turn to be stunned when she turned back to him, saying quietly, "No, Uchiha-san." _Uchiha-san? _Not _Sasuke-kun?_ "I'm going to get a new partner. Mitarashi-sensei said you can work alone, since that's what you like to do."

If he could have scowled he would have. Instead, he looked down at her. He was _so very tempted_ to say 'whatever' and go to start on his own project, but something in him said that that would be a huge mistake. He didn't often listen to instinct, instead combating it with logic, but in this case he knew that something wasn't quite right with Sakura. He was no psychotherapist, but he knew it concerned him and last night. Sasuke wasn't going to endanger his normality by letting the one constant in his life fade away.

It hit him like a ton of bricks.

Sakura had been the only constant in his life since the incident.

Sure, he had his adoptive parents, but they were friends of the family and not really interested in Sasuke. Naruto was fine, but he was always busy or was somewhat spastic anyways. Sakura, however…she was there for him, even if he had never taken her up on any of her offers to talk. She wouldn't betray him. She had always loved him, and she always would…

Right?

"I think we should work together," he said calmly, snapping out of his reverie just as Mr. Hatake had finished looking for an alternative partner. "You're not very good at English. I am."

Mr. Hatake glanced up at Sasuke at his comment, then looked at Sakura. "He's right, Sakura-chan. You're getting a low C. Are you sure you want to do this with…er, Rock Lee? It will upset things."

Sakura blanched at the name of her undesired suitor.

"He's not here today, but we had him paired with a kid who dropped out last week. He needs a partner, too, but I was going to put him with another person," Mr. Hatake continued.

Sakura was speechless and Sasuke grew impatient. Doing something he knew would convince Sakura, he grabbed her by her hand and pulled her up—gently, but firmly. She blushed a deep red, but was obviously…not happy?

Still, he gripped her hand until he had finished pulling her over to his side. "We're fine," Sasuke said. He turned to Sakura, continuing to hold her hand. "Let's go." Sakura was slack-jawed and couldn't say anything even if she had wanted to, so they left a confused but relieved Hatake Kakashi to figure out who would be working with Rock Lee.

* * *

Sakura couldn't find words as Sasuke led her over to the table. For how long she'd been waiting for him to show interest, she should have been jumping up and down with excitement. So why wasn't she?

It was the hurt, she realized as she sat down numbly at the bench. Sasuke sat down beside her, looking at her with what would have been expectant eyes if he was showing any kind of expression. There was still a hint of a smirk on his face, but beyond that there was no feeling; no life.

As she looked into his emotionless eyes, Sakura suddenly found herself wondering what she had really seen in him all these years. She had never felt so disillusioned before. He was really nothing special—just different. So he wouldn't talk? Okay. So he made the best grades in the school? Great. So he was probably the hottest guy in Konoha? Fan-fucking-tastic. She didn't really understand what she'd seen in him.

And she felt very, very empty.

Had she really wasted all these years on…this? Someone who would never love her back? How could she have not seen it? Of course _she_ still loved _him_, simply because she had spent so much time with him. But she loved the side not-so-easily seen, the side that one only noticed after knowing someone for so long and spending so much time with them.

She loved the way that the light would dance in his eyes in the rare occasion that he was amused. She loved his fondness for his plants—particularly his tomato plants that he kept sheltered on his back porch. It had been during a science project she had partnered herself up with him and they were supposed to observe photosynthesis. When she had the memory, she remembered how obnoxiously she had acted when she had 'assigned' herself to be his partner. That had been 9th grade.

She loved the way that after so many years she could sometimes accurately read the emotions on his face. She had always loved their walks to his house together, even though she'd initiated them. She loved the way that she could talk to him about things without him judging her, although now that she wasn't so blindly faithful in him, she wasn't sure if he wasn't judging her or if he was secretly laughing behind his silent, emotionless mask.

As she thought about her love for him, it became painfully apparent that, if for no other reason, Sasuke would never love her simply because she had been so damn _annoying_ all these years.

He'd never said it to her face, but thinking back on the way she'd acted, who wouldn't have been annoyed by her obviously unwanted advances? The _constant unwanted advances._

She was snapped out of her reverie when Sasuke suddenly spoke, surprising her.

"Are we going to do something or what?"

That was the second surprise of the day. Sakura couldn't piece together why he was suddenly acting like this—speaking so much—but she found herself unable to feel anything other than embarrassed around him.

So, a blush rose unbidden to her pale cheeks.

He smirked, a slight quirk of the lips, and observed her with that sparkle in his eye that meant he was at least vaguely amused.

Sakura found she couldn't speak, so she nodded her head numbly. She felt an strong feeling of self-loathing for a long second that felt like eternity but in reality only last just that: a second.

She couldn't believe how naïve she'd acted.

She couldn't believe how annoying she'd been.

And she absolutely couldn't believe that she'd trusted in him so blindly.

Of course he had hurt her, but why had she kept coming back? Hurt me once, shame on you…

Hurt me twice, shame on _me_.

* * *

Sasuke watched her emotions change like mercury, and he knew something was wrong. Normally, she would have begun chatting away by now and discussing what they should write the paper on and if she could come over after school that day to work. She'd done it before and he'd denied her, but perhaps he would allow her to this time.

Just this once. It was out of necessity, of course. They had to work on the paper.

However, he was getting rather exasperated with her silence. He had finally taken the initiative to speak and she had only nodded in return. He refused to make any more effort, grade be damned.

As the silence prolonged, Sakura asked, "Are you sure you want to be partners? I really can handle this on my own."

Her voice was small and it trembled, and she blushed deeply as she spoke. Was she embarrassed or something? Did she need reassurance? He really hoped she wasn't returning to the younger Sakura who needed validation for every little thing. It had gotten extremely annoying after a while…scratch that. Immediately. It had gotten annoying immediately.

Sasuke simply looked at her, not deeming it worthy of an answer.

Sakura waited for a long time in silence. He grew impatient. So she was reverting back to her old ways now that Karin had come into the picture. She was insecure and wanted to make sure that she was going to 'keep' his attention. That was what the cafeteria act and Ino had been about.

He felt rather stupid for having fallen for her trap and said scathingly, "Does it matter if I want to be partners? You obviously do."

Sakura's lips parted.

Sakura's eyes narrowed.

And then, Sakura snapped.

"Alright, then," she spat, slamming her palm on the table to create a loud smacking sound. The entire library quieted and all eyes were on the pair.

He would have winced if he cared enough; why on earth was she making a scene? This wasn't anything new.

Sakura continued, more softly but still loud enough for _everyone_ to hear. "Since I _so _need the great Uchiha Sasuke's help, we'll be _partners. But,_ you can _email _your research and I'll _email you back_ mine. We can write the paper via correspondence, okay? I don't want to…to…"

She chose that moment to realize that the entire room was looking at her. Her cheeks burned a bright red and this time was obviously embarrassment. However, it didn't stop the harsh words from escaping her lips.

"I don't want to see your ugly face ever again."

Even Sakura looked shocked at her own words, but that was only visible for the three seconds she lasted before bolting out of the library.

* * *

Oh yeah! Almost forgot—if you like dark stuff, check out my MadaSaku story that I'm going to post. It's just a teaser, I want to know if anyone's interested in reading it before I get too deep into it.

Thanks for reading!

~Of Broken Love~


	3. Hell Hath No Fury

Hi everyone!

Just for everyone to know, this is a really short chapter. I wrote it in about an hour starting at 4:30am and honestly, it might not be the best. I'll probably go back and edit later, but I'm just too tired right now.

Uh, let's see…warnings…None really. I've decided to lean more towards American schooling, because it's difficult to immerse in the environment when I've never been there. Still, a great big thanks to missjewels, who has given me great amounts of knowledge concerning the matter of Japanese high school.

Anyways, here's the third, absolutely pathetically short chapter of This Life in Which We Are. I will be updating soon to make up for it (I hope…).

Enjoy!

**This Life in Which We Are**

**By: Of Broken Love**

She was probably going to be expelled from Konoha High. It was a prestigious private school and they would definitely not tolerate her rash behavior. Sakura hadn't had an outburst like that for the longest time, not since she'd arrived. If she was lucky, Mr. Hatake wouldn't report her right away and she could cry a little bit before having to face the principal, Tsunade.

Still, even though it had been mortifying and horrible and so very out of character, Sakura could not bring herself to regret it. In fact, simply looking back on it brought something of an inward glow of confidence to her. Although she still felt tears brimming in her eyes, she was almost certain that they were more so about the fact that she had wasted so many of those years on a _pompous jerk_ who really, _really _didn't give a damn about her. At all.

She stalked away to the courtyard of the school, knowing that she would have to retrieve her backpack and other belongings after class. However, she refused to go back until after she had been suspended or expelled, depending on how intoxicated Tsunade might be that day.

The trees were in full bloom that fine sunny spring day, their branches swaying in the wind and leaves tickling one another with light sounds. The sky was a deep blue and there was barely a cloud in the sky. The sun wasn't blistering hot, instead warming her pale skin and bringing her a tender feeling of comfort. It was almost startling how much the weather contrasted with her mood, but at the same time it calmed her. It reminded her once again: not everything revolved around Uchiha Sasuke.

Sakura looked down from the sky and stared at the growing plants around the area. For the freshman class of upper secondary school, there was a vegetable garden growing. There were cucumbers, cabbage, carrots, and plenty of other kinds of native and foreign vegetables that normally Sakura could have admired. However, her eyes soon froze on the small,, plump redness of a cherry tomato.

Her heart stopped, and before she knew it, she was crying.

It wasn't over the meanness of her words to Sasuke; no, those had been freeing. Instead, she found herself mourning all the lost years. All the effort she had put into her 'relationship' with Sasuke was absolutely for nothing. She was quite certain that she would never lose herself in a boy-turned-man like that every again. If she ever did find someone else, she wouldn't devote herself so fully. No, she was her full, independent person and that would be it.

Still, memories of Sasuke and how her dream had been crushed continued to make her cry.

Sakura started crying softly at first but soon her sobs had elevated in volume. Her heart continued to clench and tighten as she grieved, feeling as though even as liberating as it was, it hurt an awful lot. Finally, when she couldn't promise herself to be reasonable, she quickly left the courtyard through a back gate and left campus.

She figured she was already expelled anyways, so what would skipping a little school hurt?

Wandering about for at least a good thirty minutes, Sakura found herself near a cheap restaurant a ten-minute walk away from the school. It wasn't dingy, but it certainly wasn't even a three-star place either. The shingles on the roof were more or less in place and the windows were musty and considerably dirty, almost unable to be seen through. There were a few wilting plants outside the entrance and the neon OPEN sign was flashing at random intervals. The stucco walls were smudged and not to be aesthetically pleasing—rather, they simply hadn't been cleaned in a very long time. It was called _Razu's Parlor_. Strangely, Sakura felt no threat entering the place. She was eighteen and of legal age, so if it turned out to be a bar, oh well. It didn't occur to her that she was a lone, attractive woman entering a very shady place in town.

First of all, she didn't believe she was attractive. If she had been, why didn't Sasuke appreciate her even slightly more than he had? Instead he had gone for that Karin girl, who was quite obviously gorgeous. Secondly, she didn't really care about being alone at that point. She felt daring; she felt empowered…

She felt absolutely numb, and all she could think was that a good drink might not be so bad.

Of course, she had never drunk before…but who cared? It wasn't like anyone would judge her for it—she didn't know about Tenten and Hinata, but Ino was known to be quite the party girl.

So, without even the slightest hesitation, Sakura entered _Razu's Parlor._

* * *

Sasuke was furious.

At least, he would have been if he had allowed himself to feel that way.

Frowning off in her general direction, he waited for the rest of his classmates to continue their projects. He noticed Hyuuga Hinata staring wide-eyed at the doorway, but of course, she was probably too much of a coward to do anything about Sakura's outburst. Everyone else seemed to observe with piqued interest to see how the stoic Uchiha would react to his closest fangirl leaving, probably expecting relief or feeling relief themselves, depending on whether the observer was male or female.

He did the opposite of what anyone thought he would do—except for the few intelligent ones.

Uchiha Sasuke stood up, picked up his things, and went to go find a book on English literature that wouldn't bore him to death.

He hadn't exactly been expecting Mr. Hatake _and_ Ms. Mitarashi to approach him, but they did in unison. Ms. Mitarashi looked bored, but Mr. Hatake wasn't so apathetic.

"Are you trying my patience, Uchiha-san?" Mr. Hatake said calmly, but it was apparent he wasn't so pleased with the disruption to his planning. Sasuke had heard rumors about how lazy the man was—it wouldn't be surprising if organizing the pairs wasn't the most strenuous thing he had done other than read porn all week.

"No, Hatake-sensei," Sasuke said coolly. He couldn't disrespect his superior, even though he was angry enough that Sakura had betrayed him like she had.

Wait, _betrayed?_

His train of thought was thankfully interrupted when Mr. Hatake continued. "I expect you to apologize to her next time you see her, Uchiha-san, because I'm not going to change things around now. Besides, I thought you wanted to be her partner."

Sasuke would have grimaced, and almost did. Perhaps he had sacrificed too much for the sake of routine.

And at the same time, he strangely wanted to apologize to her. He wasn't sure for what, but the idea was quickly drowned out when he heard the giggles and scheming of his other fangirls in the distance who had been warded off by Sakura and Sakura alone. He didn't want to apologize to her. She had no idea how difficult it was going to be to fend off the female population and he was immediately resentful towards her.

Unfortunately, he was intelligent enough to know that it really was his fault, and still he ignored those thoughts. Logic said that if Sakura had really cared about him, she would have stayed. If she loved him like she said she did, then she would have taken it quietly and simply chosen a topic.

Uchiha logic was selfish and rather flawed.

"Alright, Hatake-sensei," Sasuke replied respectfully before bowing slightly. Mr. Hatake nodded his head in acknowledgement and turned to Ms. Mitarashi. He went to find the piece of literature that he and Sakura were apparently still working on together, but as he walked away he heard the name _Tsunade-sama_ and almost froze.

Right. Sakura was going to get in trouble.

At least he knew the Mr. Hatake wasn't going to go too hard on her, since he still expected her to be in class for the rest of the semester. Still, he felt a thankfully-unidentifiable emotion.

Was it…concern?

* * *

Alrighty, that's it, folks! I hope you enjoyed that tidbit, and more will be coming soon!

Cheers!

~Of Broken Love~


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